Real gang members would probably have wanked in public.
Luckily it never happened because they’d probably have eaten us alive! Still, it provided us with material for a bit of private masturbation. There was a home for delinquent girls about a mile away and our favourite fantasy involved storming the place in the dead of night and setting them free. So we compromised by pretending to go on the rampage. A major problem for anyone setting out to be a juvenile delinquent. Worse still, we were reluctant to get into any real trouble. The fact that there were only three of us was also something of a handicap. We doubted if our opponents would wait long enough for us to load the thing. Although it blew a hole in an old rug hanging over a washing line, we decided it was too fiddly and dangerous for actual combat. (We pretended we were testing a new weapon). Even the cannon we constructed out of an old pipe, a banger and a marble was a one-off. Our notoriety, however, proved to an entirely imaginary one. But we were young and we were optimistic. However, considering the vast differences between New York and a small provincial town in Cheshire, this proved to be harder than we at first thought. It was supposed to be modelled on the American ones we’d heard about. This photo above was taken back in the late ‘50’s after we’d formed ourselves into a notorious gang. In my heyday I must have been churning out more than a dozen scripts a week. Mainly because I was far too busy scriptwriting for comics and chasing trolls on the internet. Although not as famous or talented as Spike, I’ve also collected a number of projects I never got around to completing. Edited by his agent, Norma Farnes, the book contains Spike’s ideas, part written sketches and doodles.
#A wasted life book for free#
The pdf is available here for free download.I got the idea for this book from Box 18: The Unpublished Spike Milligan.
#A wasted life book how to#
The topics covered include growing up in the old Notting Hill slums (long since demolished), attendance (and non-attendance) at a comprehensive school in Shepherd's Bush, cohabitation, working in a rough pub in Notting Hill, my life as an aggressive drunk, beer festivals, my on-off academic career, work as a management consultant, workplace bullying, my career as a management accountant, excelling under pressure, fall into depression, anxiety and bruxism, attempts to regain sanity, and philosophical reflections on life, work, management, morals, politics, metaphysics, God, and how to discover oneself. So, although the book is highly personal, it is not so personal as to be uncomfortable, either for me, or for my sexual partners, or for my intimate friends, or for my family, or for the educated reader. Large segments of my life have been excluded, particularly those concerning my sex life and intimate relationships. However, the book is not an autobiography. The book may be considered as a contribution to ‘the philosophy of everyday life.’ The anecdotes are autobiographical and are presented in approximately chronological order. I often include some more or less philosophical reflections within the anecdotes and such reflections often raise further questions too. It generally focuses on the unusual and thereby offers material for reflection. This book tells part of the story of my life in a succession of anecdotes, or ‘Danecdotes,’ as a friend called them.
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